Not by what life brings to us...

If you are a solitary being, make attempts to open up and be interested in other people, and spend time with them. Some women, especially old maidens like us, have become accustomed to staying at home alone and dread interacting with outsiders.

I used to believe I was happy being alone, but it was too general a statement. Sometimes I am not really happy being alone, because sometimes I long to have someone to talk to and exchange stories with, I long to play music and sing Christian songs with someone else or a few other people who like Christian songs and music. Sometimes I do feel like I want to be all alone with the Lord Jesus--reading, studying, playing music, writing, and reflecting. Once in a while there's a need for such solitary existence, although we're always connected to Him through prayer and constant communication of our thoughts and feelings.

But when you are a solitary being and have been somewhat detached from friends who generally do not really share your interests or who were simply too busy at work or at home (as mothers), it leaves you in a low spirit upon realizing your need. There really comes a time when you want to go out and spend time with someone. Sometimes you'd want to talk or simply listen to another kindred soul. No man is really an island.

I remember the latest "sad" incident that happened months ago, where I was so down and discouraged and really felt alone, despite having warm people around me. It was not a good feeling, and for weeks I constantly confessed to the Lord how I was feeling. Then one afternoon at a small bookbinding shop, as I wallowed in my bitter, cold sadness I happened to notice a little quote displayed there:

Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life.

It really hit me, and I read it again. It made me feel better; I smiled and thanked God for directing my attention to a small but precious reminder.

Sometimes when we're too busy we forget to notice things around us, the little things around us that could possibly hold the answer to our need. And the sad part is when this being too busy is caused by our thinking about ourselves alone and the emotion that's eating us up--as if we're the only person in the whole world that's going through such difficulty and discouragement.

Cultivating and keeping a positive attitude can really make a big difference. We just need to will ourselves into making that decision to choose to see things this way or that way.

Childhood Chores And Gender Equality

While the rest of the children in the neighborhood were out playing, I had to do household chores first and take care of my younger siblings. Being the eldest of five children inherently meant a great deal of responsibility and a sense of duty, and somehow it explains why we firstborn children are usually too stubborn. We make a poor version of our mothers when they are not around to manage the household, but I think the young ones are happy enough that, despite your monotonous motherlike nagging, they are free to do whatever they pleased while Mother is away.   

In the family we were taught early which chores must be done by which child, and the more difficult ones and policing naturally fell on me. As a small, skinny five-year-old girl I had to stand on a chair to wash dishes over the sink, get some water from the tapayan, and cook rice on the stove. Most of the chores were actually done by the first two older children, and I would often fight with my younger brother over which should have been his chore because he was a boy—for boys are supposed to be stronger than girls, and he would in turn insist I should have been the one doing it because I was a girl—for girls are supposed to become mothers in the future and mothers are supposed to take care of the home.

Soon our bickerings over these chores moved on to a higher level when Papa, out of his sheer fascination—and, I dare say, passion—for boxing, bought two small pairs of  maroon boxing gloves. You can guess what happened between my brother and me after Papa taught us how to box.

Why I Love Looking At Photographs And Playing Musical Instruments

...Because I spend hours and hours trying to look for something to criticize, which I find to be absurdly difficult and painfully challenging. So now I try my best to bear with people who spend most of their time criticizing; they make me think and reconsider, and teach me how to stretch my patience for as long as 500 miles. ^^

From our 2009 calendar

From my beloved companion himself

I dislike seeing lots of red letters and markings even though my own hand created them. Because afterward I shall be recompensed heavily with countless keystrokes on the keyboard and a lot of mousing around the mouse pad. ^^